How We Camp in 2013

The most efficient way to camp is inside your own home.  Dim the lights a little, or, for a more “authentic” experience, just light a few candles.  Imagine they’re fireflies, or stars even.  And if you can reach your roof, be it by chair or height advantage, stick gold stars up there and shape them into constellations.  Turn the fan on high for high wind, or low for nothing more than a silky breeze.  Walk over to the A/C meter, close your eyes and hold the temperature button for cold, then warm and leave it at random.  Imagine Mother Nature chose the climate.

Now grab a few twigs from outside, and really authenticate the place.  Stab a marshmallow on the end and hover it over a candle.  And if shadows mark the walls, grace your pretend wilderness with a good ghost story.  The best part is you don’t have to worry about bears, regardless of how much honey you slurp down during the night.  Mosquitoes either.  They know how to ruin a good time for everybody.

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